Fat-phobia is considered by many to be one of the last socially acceptable forms of discrimination. Body positive groups like NAAFA (National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance), Fat Underground, Fat!So?, NO-LOSE, SeaFattle, Fat Girl Speaks and hundreds of regional organizations, clubs and meetups have worked big and hard for years to reduce the insult in those three letters: F-A-T. Fat is phat. Baby got back and can be upfront wit it.
But should you say the F word?
A good rule for fat lovers is you don’t say it unless you hear her say it first (and not in a derogatory way) and if you haven’t said it before (and not in a derogatory way) you might want to practice before you try it on the natives.
Say “Fat” in your best come-fuck-me voice: “Mmmm. Fat.”
Say “Fat” as in you go, girl with a round-the-world finger snap: (rhymes with Fierce!) “Fat!”
Try it in different inflections.
As an exclamation: “FAT!”
As a question: “Fat?”
As an expletive: “F*T!”
Try it in mantras: “Aum Fat. Fat in ginko. Aum.”
Try it in marches: “We’re here! We’re Fat! Get used to that!”
Try it in marriage vows: “I take you in Fatness and Health, for Richer for Fatter.”
As a billboard: Nothing comes between me and my jeans but Fat.
As a bumper sticker: Don’t apologize at any size.
As a billboard: Fat becomes you.
Try singing it to any tune that gets stuck in your head.
(to the tune of William Tell Overture) “Fatduda Fatduda FatFatFat, Fatduda Fatduda FatFatFat.”
(to the tune of This Old Man) “This fat man he played fat. He knew fat was where it’s at. Played fatty whack. Padded back. Give the dog the bony.”
(to the tune of Yesterday by The Beatles) “Faa-aaa-aat. All fat troubles seem so skinny way.”
Try learning some fat-positive songs to get stuck in your head, instead.
Big-Boned Gal – k.d. lang: “With a bounce in her step and a wiggle in her walk… the big-boned gal was proud.”
Baby Got Back – Sir-Mix-A-Lot: “My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns hon’.”
Big Bottom – Spinal Tap: “I love her each weekday, each velvety cheekday.”
Baby Phat – De La Soul: “Every woman ain’t a video chick or runway model anorexic.”
You’re The One For Me, Fatty – Morrissey
Fat Bottomed Girls – Queen: “Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round.”
Fat Mama – Tito Puente and His Orchestra: “Fat Mama, c’mon and dance with me. Boogaloo.”
I Like ‘Em Fat Like That – Louis Jordan: “When she bounces down the street, she’s a whole heap o’ honey, and ain’t she sweet? Feels so fine to know she’s mine.”
Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) – Mika
Spit – Kiss: “Thin is in, but it’s plain to see, it don’t mean spit to me. I need big hips, sweet lips… ’cause meatless girls don’t satisfy me.”
Big Fat Mamas Are Back In Style – Buster Poindexter: “You gotta keep that double chin… big fat mamas are back in style again.”
Fatty Bum Bum – Carl Malcolm: “Hey Fatty Bum Bum, you sweet sugar dumpling.”
I Need A Fat Girl – The Heptones
Big Girls Are Best – U2
300 pounds of Joy – Willie James Dixon: “Glad you understand, three hundred pounds of muscle and man. This is it. Look what you get.”
Dare to be Fat – Root Boy Slim & The Sex Change Band: “She’s got a shape that makes me drool. Lord, I’m just a fat girl’s fool.”
Now you’re used to hearing it. You’re used to saying it. “Fat” drips off your tongue like honey. Use your new word power wisely. Not everyone wants an earful of honey.