by, for and about Women of Size and their allies

Posts tagged ‘language’

Haters step off: Facebook has curvy clubs



Facebook has proved a powerful tool in sharing memes, political news, inspiring stories and now CURVE-ERIFIC groups that exist solely to promote fat and fabulous women and their admirers. The above meme from curvy and beautiful .



What makes this site stand out is its delightful amateur nature. It inspires fatlishious women (or their fans) to send in their own photos and montages. Sweet and brilliant, seeking and receiving words of praise in a society that heaps scorn on women of size. The internet with its hot or not –billion ego bash per minute– bullshit has a lot to make up for. Shiny little corners of good intentions, like Curvy and Beautiful, deserve their moment in the sun. Good on you, Grrrls.

Their reason for being (as lifted directly from their page’s What ups) 



(Owner : Crystal) (Admins : Cupcake & Tristina)

** Welcome to Curvy and Beautiful. Everyone is welcome to join. Please respect each other. Any NEGATIVE comments will be deleted and you may be banned. Please, no debates.


Curvy And Beautiful is a page dedicated to women who are finding inspiration in accepting their curvy figures in todays society. We discuss fashion, beauty, body acceptance and share your photos!

There is nothing sexier than a confident and curvy woman!

Please keep it POSITIVE and respectful!

Disclaimer: All content, wallpapers, images, photos, pics in this page were found on the internet or submitted by fans, submissions & all data and information provided on this blog is for informational and entertainment purposes only. If you own copyrights over any of them and if you do not agree with it being shown here, send an email to



Define/divine yourself and live/love large


More Fat-Shaming? Marilyn Wann dishes back

the following article appeared originally in Mon., May 14 2012

Weight of the Nation Serves Up More Fat-Shaming

photo by Mark Richards
Marilyn Wann

Today our nation relapses into what might be our worst case of fat fearmongering yet. The current source of our infection with pseudoscientific sensationalism is something called Weight of the Nation, a highly contagious conference/book/series/website onslaught backed by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and delivered tonight and Tuesday (May 14-15) via ocular injection on HBO.

I attended the first, government-sponsored Weight of the Nation conference in 2009. I didn’t pay or anything self-defeating like that. I just walked in (with a brave friend or two) and delivered plastic-wrapped fortune cookies to the fancy luncheon tables where major stakeholders were about to chew on the alleged “obesity” problem. If the professional food scolds took a cookie, they got messages like these:

  • The war on “obesity” is a war on PEOPLE!
  • The No. 1 threat to fat people? Your unexamined prejudice.
  • What’s the word for science that serves bigotry? Hint: It starts with “you.”
  • If you can’t imagine fat people being healthy…that’s YOUR pathology!
  • Tell people to lose weight if you want to endanger public health AND civil rights!
  • How many fat people must you starve, poison, slice up? Celebrate weight diversity now!

And the Orwellian:

  • Weight ≠ Health. Diversity ≠ Disease. Hate ≠ Help.

The wisdom of the fortune cookie didn’t deter them from three more years of scheming, so now we’ve got, Weight of the Nation.

On the Weight of the Nation website, the CDC calls its new hatefest “an unprecedented public health campaign.” Really? Let me list on my pudgy fingers a few of the more obvious public health campaigns attempting to herd us around this same mulberry bush:


• 1956: President Eisenhower establishes the President’s Council on Youth Fitness in response to fears that Americans are getting “soft.” The program celebrates its 50th anniversary in 2006, when people were still “soft.”

• 1994: The National Institutes of Health establishes WIN, the Weight-control Information Network. Because being fat is caused by lack of information.

• 1994: U.S. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop launches “Shape Up America!” Eighteen years later, his campaign’s budget is in great shape.

• 2003: The CDC launches a $125 million anti-“obesity” ad campaign called “Verb, it’s what you do.” Because fat children, who are too stupid to understand nutrition labels, must surely obey the rules of grammar.

• 2010: Michelle Obama says, “Let’s Move!” That’s code for “solving the problem of obesity within a generation.” Creepy! Also, given the track record of previous campaigns, she’s smart to set a deadline long after anyone will hold her accountable.

This list doesn’t include the plentiful state and local efforts to eradicate fat people. Clearly, for at least the past 60 years, fat people have not been welcome in America. Officially. The weight blame goes either to fat people personally, to the environment, or both. Either way, two-thirds of us (and at least a fifth of our children) aren’t welcome here. Though unwelcome, we’re sure useful as easy targets.

When the initial frenzy of Weight of the Nation has calmed down — after everyone has enjoyed this round of hating fat people and there’s been a healthy boost to budgets, profits, viewership, and ad revenue — I predict we’ll hit the same wall that every dieter encounters: the return to reality.

I suggest that reality is not so bad. To keep a grip, ask yourself:

  1. Would you question the motives behind any other national PR campaign designed “for your own good” by major media, corporations, and the government?
  2. If it were any topic other than weight (where you might feel vulnerable), would you be so quick to believe the numbers they cite to justify a “War on [Whatever]”? (Most egregious exaggerations: “Fat people cost ‘us’ billions!” “Everyone’s going to be really fat!” “Our children won’t live as long!”)
  3. Would you rather trust your own judgment about what’s good for you or get swept along by the latest fruitless panic?
  4. Do you want to connect with other people who are saying, “WTF” about Weight of the Nation?

Here are some:

Debate the Weight is a suite of data-supported arguments from the Association for Size Diversity and Health that controvert what they call “one of the most misleading and misguided public health campaigns — ever.”

Here’s a video from that group that’s way more fun than anything HBO will show. In it, one person confesses, “Health At Every Size liberates us from so much bullshit. It’s the big secret that I feel very smug to know and I want to spread it all around and not have it be a secret at all, ever again.”

Health At Every Size pioneer Deb Burgard offers a brilliant viewer’s guide on how to take care of yourself during the current hate campaign. She writes, “Blaming fatness keeps us from addressing the root causes of our problems and is clearly unfair to fat people. Many powerful people understand this but find it expedient to frame a problem in terms of fat in order to bring attention to it. They don’t think people will just attend to the real issue unless they whip up the fat panic. … I say, have the courage to make your argument about the real issues and stop doing it on the backs of fat people.”

Fall Ferguson lists the top 10 reasons to be concerned about the Weight of the Nationdocumentary on the Health at Every Size blog. Among other things, Ferguson writes, “Few things are as destructive to health and well-being as fear. I also question whether health professionals who use fear to influence people are behaving ethically.”

Nutrition professor Linda Bacon compares Weight of the Nation to bear-baiting in ancient Rome’s coliseum in today’s HuffPo. She writes, “Proponents may think they mean well by deploring the size of roughly half our nation, but it’s easier to rail about fat than examine the commercial and class motives that create the real health and wellness divides we live (and die) with.”

Dr. Deah’s Tasty Morsels blog critiques the media barrage. She writes, “If your position about obesity is based on concern for our health or presumed financial burden on society, I just ask you to read more than the one side of the story that you are being told over and over and over. Then, just as you would for an election, make your decision based on being informed.”

Jezebel editor Lindy West says “being mean to fat people is pointless.” And elaborates: “The assumption that you have a right to legislate another person’s body ‘for their own good,’ or ‘for the children,’ or even ‘because they’re gross,’ is its own kind of crazy — but to inflate that assumption to apocalyptic proportions, railing against the nation-obliterating medical bills of nebulous future straw-fatties, is fucking bonkers.”

Michele Simon, public health lawyer, gives great reasons why she is not attending or watching Weight of the Nation Including this one: “Scientific evidence shows that fat people have enough problems dealing with discrimination, bullying, etc., and the last thing they need is more fearmongering brought to you by the federal government and cable television.”

Slink magazine calls out weight-shaming as wholly unhelpful to health. Its rallying cry: “Because obesity, BMI, and all the other fad words you throw at plus-size women don’t stick or mean anything, and the moment we manage to hold off ridiculing women and our bodies long enough and alter the way we talk about plus size, fat, and our bodies to talking about healthy diet and exercise, the better off we will be.”

And isn’t that supposed to be the point? Y’know … wellbeing (and maybe even a bit of welcome) for all of us.

Fat Lips & Other Smack Talk: The Language of Fat

originally published in SexIs (October 09, 2009)

The funny thing about the following article is that I had to trim and trim it to fit into the off-the-rack size that the publisher wanted to see. The obvious incisions are around the music lyrics but entire sections were gutted. I will have to chunk it up later. If I dig I may be able to find her original majesty which included a rant on fashion in history and language of beauty then and now… and numerous quotations on the connection between so called health and beauty (unrealistic anxiety about the same) and the almighty dollar.

I would encourage other bloggers who would like to use this column to do so, under creative commons. Please keep the whole piece intact and include both the originally published credit and MY name.

Fat Lips & Other Smack Talk: The Language of Fat

by G.L. Morrison
No matter how you say it, it seems everyone is talking about body size—either their own or someone else’s. Fatspeak is a national obsession. So much talk is meant to belittle that it’s easy to give offense where none was intended. Here’s a quick lexicon on Fat Language. Consider this a travel phrase book to the land of Fat where the roads are often dangerous, unmapped and slippery when wet.

The Language of Fat

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean –neither more nor less.”
“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master –that’s all.”
—from Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Fat. Round. Obese. Overweight. Rotund. Chunky. Thick. Zaftig. Huge. Healthy. Rubenesque. Voluptuous. Elephantine. A whale. A hippo. Big-boned. Large. Larger. Super-size. Queen-Sized. Curvy. Hefty. Fluffy. Giant. Gi-normous. Big. BBW. Fatso. Fattie. Curvacious. Pudgy. Pillowy. Shapely. Compact. More to love. Cushion for the Pushin’. Full-figured. Plus-sized. Womanly.

No matter how you say it, it seems everyone is talking about body size—either their own or someone else’s. Fatspeak is a national obsession. So much talk is meant to belittle (pun intended) the body in question, it’s easy to give offense where none was intended. Here’s a quick lexicon on Fat Language. Consider this a travel phrase book to the land of Fat where the roads are often dangerous, unmapped and slippery when wet.

What s/he says: “Does this make my ass look fat?”
What s/he means: “Do you hate my body as much as I do?”

What you say: “No.”

The simple answer is always “No.” But circumstances may dictate one or more of the following:

What you say: “Turn around let me see. (Long pause) Wait… I’m not done looking at your ass yet.”
What you say: “Your ass is gorgeous but that doesn’t look comfortable.”
What you say: “Your ass looks best naked but that will do.”

Sometimes there is no simple answer. Sometimes there is no answer at all.

What s/he says: “If only I could lose weight.”
What s/he means: “I hate my body. ”

What you said: “I love you just the way you are.”
What s/he heard (on a good day): “I love you in spite of the way you are.”
What s/he heard (on a bad day): “You’re lucky to have me, you fat cow.”

What s/he says: “I am so fat.”
What s/he means: “I hate my body.”

What you said: “I’m fat too.”
What s/he heard (on a good day): “I hate your body too.”
What s/he heard (on a bad day): “If I were skinnier I’d leave you.”

What you should say: “Don’t be silly.” (Then change the subject to something other than his/her body hatred.)

 The F Word

Fat-phobia is considered by many to be one of the last socially acceptable forms of discrimination. Body positive groups like NAAFA (National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance), Fat Underground, Fat!So?, NO-LOSE, SeaFattle, Fat Girl Speaks and hundreds of regional organizations, clubs and meetups have worked big and hard for years to reduce the insult in those three letters: F-A-T. Fat is phat. Baby got back and can be upfront wit it.

But should you say the F word?

A good rule for fat lovers is you don’t say it unless you hear her say it first (and not in a derogatory way) and if you haven’t said it before (and not in a derogatory way) you might want to practice before you try it on the natives.

Say “Fat” in your best come-fuck-me voice: “Mmmm. Fat.”
Say “Fat” as in you go, girl with a round-the-world finger snap: (rhymes with Fierce!) “Fat!”

Try it in different inflections.

As an exclamation: “FAT!”
As a question: “Fat?”
As an expletive: “F*T!”

Try it in mantras: “Aum Fat. Fat in ginko. Aum.”
Try it in marches: “We’re here! We’re Fat! Get used to that!”
Try it in marriage vows: “I take you in Fatness and Health, for Richer for Fatter.”

As a billboard: Nothing comes between me and my jeans but Fat.
As a bumper sticker: Don’t apologize at any size.
As a billboard: Fat becomes you.

Try singing it to any tune that gets stuck in your head.

(to the tune of William Tell Overture) “Fatduda Fatduda FatFatFat, Fatduda Fatduda FatFatFat.”
(to the tune of This Old Man) “This fat man he played fat. He knew fat was where it’s at. Played fatty whack. Padded back. Give the dog the bony.”
(to the tune of Yesterday by The Beatles) “Faa-aaa-aat. All fat troubles seem so skinny way.”

Try learning some fat-positive songs to get stuck in your head, instead.

Big-Boned Gal – k.d. lang: “With a bounce in her step and a wiggle in her walk… the big-boned gal was proud.”
Baby Got Back – Sir-Mix-A-Lot: “My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns hon’.”
Big Bottom – Spinal Tap: “I love her each weekday, each velvety cheekday.”
Baby Phat – De La Soul: “Every woman ain’t a video chick or runway model anorexic.”
You’re The One For Me, Fatty – Morrissey
Fat Bottomed Girls – Queen: “Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round.”
Fat Mama – Tito Puente and His Orchestra: “Fat Mama, c’mon and dance with me. Boogaloo.”
I Like ‘Em Fat Like That – Louis Jordan: “When she bounces down the street, she’s a whole heap o’ honey, and ain’t she sweet? Feels so fine to know she’s mine.”
Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) – Mika
Spit – Kiss: “Thin is in, but it’s plain to see, it don’t mean spit to me. I need big hips, sweet lips… ’cause meatless girls don’t satisfy me.”
Big Fat Mamas Are Back In Style – Buster Poindexter: “You gotta keep that double chin… big fat mamas are back in style again.”
Fatty Bum Bum – Carl Malcolm: “Hey Fatty Bum Bum, you sweet sugar dumpling.”
I Need A Fat Girl – The Heptones
Big Girls Are Best – U2
300 pounds of Joy – Willie James Dixon: “Glad you understand, three hundred pounds of muscle and man. This is it. Look what you get.”
Dare to be Fat – Root Boy Slim & The Sex Change Band: “She’s got a shape that makes me drool. Lord, I’m just a fat girl’s fool.”

Now you’re used to hearing it. You’re used to saying it. “Fat” drips off your tongue like honey. Use your new word power wisely. Not everyone wants an earful of honey.

 Loaded words, toxic phrases, and things to never, never say

You know how to say “Fat” like you mean it and with a little effort you will figure out when and to whom to say it. It’s time to learn the Fat Bombs. Fat Bombs are loaded words. These are the things said innocently or inadvertently that will be followed by an explosion. These are the things you say just before you find yourself at the side of the road picking through the debris while the car containing what is left of your relationship, friendship or job speeds away. Leaving you to shake your shell-shocked head and mutter “What did I say?”

Your next language lesson involves learning how to avoid throwing the F-bombs. Recognizing the booby-trapped words, phrases with hidden spring-loaded meanings, and things to never, never (I do mean NEVER) say.

Overweight: Over what weight? This implies a magic number s/he is either over or under. This word, used in any context, will be followed by a litany of numbers (calories, sit-ups, minutes since last bite of chocolate) that would make an OCD accountant swoon. This is a favored euphemism for fat because it sounds so… medicinal. So do the words suppository, regurgitate and vivisection but you wouldn’t toss them into the conversation needlessly. Trust me on this: no conversation needs the word “overweight” either.

Are you really going to eat that?” Oh no, you didn’t.

Pregnant much?“: Never start a conversation with a stranger based on your assumptions (correct or not) about the contents of her swollen belly. “How are you?” is safer and less intrusive than “When are you due?”

Do you want to share a dessert?“: This is a subtler version of “Are you really going to eat that?” since it implies s/he shouldn’t have a WHOLE dessert to his/herself. Instead the more polite option is to say “I might have the (most decadent and expensive dessert on the menu). It looks great. What are you having?”

Qualifiers: Qualifiers are to compliments what vinegar is to milk. Instant curdle. Qualifiers are tacked on bits like “anyway”, “to me” or “for your __.” As in: “You look good for someone your age/size. You’ve always been pretty to me. Anyway.”

You look great. Have you lost weight?” : The irony of this statement is not lost on people who find themselves being complimented (or envied!) for weight loss due to serious illness or chemotherapy. Implied here is that s/he looked bad before. Limit yourself to the single sentence “You look great.” Don’t speculate why.

Now that you’ve learned the lingo, you should be able to mingle with the natives without sounding like a clueless tourist or a jerk.